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A potent reminder of the realities of “social”

Sometimes we Social Media wags get caught up in quest to make every experience a social one. I think sometimes we forget that certain experiences are best when we’re left the hell alone. Thanks to a post on my wife’s blog to remind me.

From A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby:

“People go on about places like Starbucks being unpersonal and all that, but what if that’s what you want? I’d be lost if JJ and people like that got their way, and there was nothing unpersonal in the world. I like to know that there are big places without windows where no one gives a shit. You need confidence to go into small places with regular customers - small bookshops and small music shops and small restaurants and cafes. I’m happiest in the Virgin Megastore and Borders and Starbucks and PizzaExpress where no one gives a shit, and no one knows who you are. My mum and dad are always going on and on about how soulless those places are, and I’m like, Der. That’s the point.”

I find that I really identify with this quote. I prefer to remain completely alone when shopping, in most cases. I don’t want help. I’d rather look for what I want on my own for half an hour than spend the two minutes in the company of a store employee showing me where the item is.

I don’t want to discuss it with someone. I don’t want advice from the employee. I would prefer to buy almost anything online with no human contact.

[...]

I like Starbucks because I can count on it. I know that I can get what I want there and not worry about not liking how it’s been made. I can count on what they have there. And I don’t want to be chatted up while I’m getting coffee. I don’t typically sit and drink there - I just want to get in, get my drink and get out. I don’t care about someone knowing what my “usual” is and getting it started as soon as they seem me walk in the door. So Starbucks serves my purposes just fine.


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    Many years ago, I attended a Friday night Shabbat service at a synagogue in downtown Chicago. I was new to the group, so I was trying to be overly friendly and make new friends. There was one gentleman in the group who intrigued me the most. He had on a sticker that read, "Shhhh" and when I went up to introduce myself, he smiled and politely handed me a card. It read "Shabbat Shalom! I'm on a talking fast. Please take no offense at my lack of conversation. Let's talk again tomorrow night."

    Your post reminded me of that card and the idea of a talking fast. There have been times that I almost wish there was a polite way to put a "I'm okay, I don't need help" pin on that would signal the message to salespeople that I don't need assistance. People would probably take it as being rude, though, more times than not.
 

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